Do You Use Avoidance as a Strategy to Deal with Stress in Your Life?

donnam — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 19:23:27 +0000

Avoiding situations won’t deal with stress. In fact, avoidance may actually escalate your stress. Have you been guilty of this? Everyone has come into contact with a situation that causes stress, fear and anxiety. As a culture, we have a fight or flight response to many stress filled situations, with many people more easily making the choice of flight. This means that many people are choosing to avoid stressful events or situations entirely, rather than deal directly with the source of their stress or fear.

While in the short term, this seems like an easy fix, in actuality it can cause much more harm than good. By choosing to skip out on any event that may cause you undue stress, you will not be able to effectively learn tools and coping skills. There are many things you can do yourself to help you prepare to deal with stress in advance.

One effective tool is planning ahead. Envision the stressful situation in your mind. Maybe it is a situation at work, such as a meeting where you always feel put on the spot. Now break down the event into steps. Visualize in your mind a successful meeting. Visualize being calm, centered and in control during the whole meeting. Imagine successfully answering any questions posed to you, easily and calmly. The more you can picture yourself succeeding, the more you will be able to meet any challenge thrown your way.

Also, take time to connect with yourself before every stressful situation so that you do not feel like you need to run away from a challenge or stress. Take time to do deep breathing, relaxation or meditation, or take time to thank the universe for the multiple blessings in your life. Many people also practice affirmations. Repeating positive thoughts over and over to yourself will allow you to prep yourself to deal with stress and stressful situations as they arise.

Once you have spent time envisioning a challenging situation going smoothly, preparing internally for the challenges that may lie ahead, and practicing positive self talk and affirmations, you will be prepared and ready meet any challenging situation that may come your way. Deal with stress in this way and you will find that difficult situations can become easier, and you will be able to meet your challenges head on.

Do You Deal with Stress that Comes from the Fear of Public Speaking?

donnam — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:50:30 +0000

Fear of public speaking is very common and is a major cause of stress at work. But how does one deal with stress and feel good about speaking in front of groups?

Initially, it is best to understand some of the underlying causes of public speaking stress. They differ for everyone yet there is a common denominator for many. Simply put, speaking in front of groups can trigger uncomfortable emotions from previous experiences.

For example, think about a time as a youth in school and raising your hand to speak or answer a question only to receive ridicule, laughter or perhaps harsh feedback. These typical events cause reluctance to not want to “speak up” and contribute later during classroom, life and work environments.

This uncomfortable memory is filed away (usually into our subconscious) and the same feeling state associated with the event in also filed away with it. Then the anxiety peaks its head at the very thought of speaking in front of groups.

Panic and a crippling nervousness may also be felt. The stress can start at the very thought of having to speak, or when planning the talk, and when delivering the talk. Additionally, it can continue several minutes after the talk as the body is de-stressing from the actual feeling state experience.

It is usually the feeling state, that is, stress and anxiety, etc., that is triggered that causes many people to deal with stress by avoiding speaking situations at all costs. Some say they would rather “die” than speak in front of a group. Some careers have not flourished because of the fear of moving into positions that require presentations to clients, staff or coworkers, etc.

Additionally, fear of public speaking can also surface when asked to deliver a toast at a wedding, a eulogy, or when asked to share a simple prayer at meal time. It is the “feeling state” that is immobilizing and the state that one wants to avoid.

So what can be done to deal with stress in a public speaking situation? Practice of course is always beneficial to assist with speaking fears. Yet to get emotional relief, requires understanding the emotional intelligence associated with ones feeling state. Once this is identified and “released” the anxiety and fear dissipates. It is a skill that can be learned. The anxiety and nervousness lessens noticeably and ones speaking comfort and confidence increases naturally.

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Deal with Stress Today » Stress Anxiety

Do You Use Avoidance as a Strategy to Deal with Stress in Your Life?

Do You Deal with Stress that Comes from the Fear of Public Speaking?