Most of the people have the habit of imagining what they want or the outcome they want to have happen.  Oftentimes, this can be counterproductive when you focus on negative outcomes.  For example, if we are having problems with our colleagues at work, and we focus on the negative outcome.  By focusing your energy on the negative outcome you are always looking for the negative.

I believe the reverse to be true.  If you spend your time focusing and visualizing on the positive, then you will affect a positive outcome in your life.  In my seminars I have often said, “What you think about, you bring about.”   Here are some strategies to help you with your positive visualizations.
 
How to Visualize:

First, make yourself comfortable.  You don’t have to be in a dark room but it is good to find a space with little distractions.  Take slow and deep breaths and you will find yourself relaxed soon. Just keep your eyes closed and start visualizing the event that is causing you stress.

Picture in your mind the possible outcomes for this stressful event.  It is ok to spend some time thinking about many outcomes.  Once you have settled in on the outcome that you truly desire, FOCUS ON THE RESULTS and leave out the details.  Think about how you are going to feel when it comes to be.  Engage all of your senses, and visualize what you want to experience for yourself:  peace, balance, improved relationships, increased accomplishments, etc.  Once you have a clear picture of the outcome you desire you should just take a few moments to relax and become present again to now.

Again, picture or imagine it, as if is already exist. The key is to practice experiencing a positive emotion surrounding the outcome of your intentions.  Your emotions set forth your positive (or negative) intentions for what you desire or wish for.
 
Need a Little Help?

If you are new to this method of visualization then do not worry – you could get help from prepared guided visualization.  Try my audio CD to practice Mindfulness Meditation Practice here.  There are three tracks included, and each one will help you to relax and visualize.  You can listen to a sample of each track here.
 
What others say…
 
“Each has something terrific in it.  The sound quality, the sounds, the music, it was truly a superb making.  The tracks were created with real love and feeling.”     Kevin
 
“Your CD is fantastic. I feel far more at peace with the world.”   Maureen
 
“Donna Marie’s relaxing voice is an effective vehicle for a refreshing, rejuvenating, and health-restoring journey inward”.        Linda

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Producer, Shawne Duperon was inspired by her friend, Gary’s story of tragic loss.  You see, Gary’s wife and two son’s were killed by a drunk driver.

In this documentary Shawne explores what it takes to forgive others.  Gary’s story is just the beginning.  The film will include exquisite stories of courageous forgiveness from celebrities, thought leaders, and people whose stories have yet to be told.

To learn more you can read the article in the Detroit Free Press here.

If you feel inspired to support this project you can learn more here.

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So often we lose our way in life and work.  We get bogged down in the complexities and the busyness of life.  It seems easy to lose track of ourselves.  Are we in the right job or do we intuitively know that we are meant for another purpose?

We may feel unfulfilled, unmotivated and uninterested.  People around us may be negative, crabby or gossipy.  The environment may be de-energizing, chaotic, or emotionally unhealthy. Yet, we can not make that career change for whatever reason.  Feeling lost in the universe? What do you do?

You can do one of the following:

1)      Continue to think the way you are thinking or

2)      Change your thoughts.

Sounds pretty simple doesn’t it?  Actually, we have the power to make any change we chose.

I love the quote by Mahatma Gandhi, “We must become the change we want to see.”  If we want to see change, we must become the change and therefore we demonstrate change.

To experience spirituality in the work environment and at home I must become it.  To do this I must first create my own awareness.  For instance, each time I view judgment or negativity I must look within. (Because it is truly about me, not anyone else.)

Try these universal steps to spiritual change in your work life.

1)      Say Good Morning to everyone you greet on the way to work.  Put on your biggest and most sincere smiling face.  (No faking here!)  Save the biggest smiles for those you have been avoiding.  (Notice how you feel!)

2)      Think ONLY positive thoughts of others..  Each time you think, “What a jerk!”   Stop your thoughts and tell yourself, “OK, I’m judging and this drains my own energy.  I will think only loving thoughts of this person.”  Loving thoughts add positive energy.

3)      When feeling overwhelmed with all that must be completed, know that is your EGO side wanting to keep you in the pits of self-judgment!  When your thoughts sound like this, “I can’t do all this”, “I’ll never finish by then”, or how about “I might not do this right”?  Be aware, these thoughts keep us in the famous victim role of “poor me”!  It is very self-defeating and is an enormous energy drain.  (We are much more capable that we give ourselves credit for.)

4)      Compile a daily list of three to six important tasks and focus on their completion.  You will feel accomplished staying focused instead of feeling scattered or overwhelmed trying to do everything at once.

5)      Be aware that whatever job you are doing at the moment is the task that is meant for you in that particular moment.  Look for the higher spiritual meaning in all that we do.  Do each task gracefully even if it is sharpening your pencil!  (This is practicing consciousness.)

6)      Keep your life uncluttered and tidy!  Organize your desk top, office, your purse or wallet, etc.  Clean up those relationships that have unresolved clutter by being honest and loving.

7)      Take a five minute break when necessary and refocus your thoughts through meditation and/or conscious breathing.

8)      Create or find convenient short meaningful prayers or affirmations to read throughout each day to keep your thoughts centered to be positive and loving to yourself and others.

Marianne Williamson’s prayer book “Illuminata” is excellent for daily reflections.  I particularly found this prayer quite powerful and comforting.

“Dear God,

As I go to work today, may Your spirit go with me.

May my work in the world be a vehicle for your love.

Go with me, Lord.

Show me how to love and forgive each person, that I might carry Your light to all I meet.

This is a new day, may it not be darkened by yesterday’s unforgiveness.

Instead, dear Lord, may we begin anew with new strength, new creativity, new power, new love.

If I am the employer, make me kind and compassionate.

Show me the art of leadership.

If I am the employee, make me kind and compassionate.

Show me the art of service.

For we are all in Your service, Lord, and here to lead the earth out of darkness into light.

May our work do this, through Your power with us.

And so it is.    Amen”

Any change we seek in our life starts with our own thoughts and our willingness to change them.

It is always our choice to change or not to change.  Say yes to the heavens!    

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There is also this wonderful story from Chicken Soup for the Soul.

A Story For Valentine’s Day

Larry and Jo Ann were an ordinary couple. They lived in an ordinary house on an ordinary street.

Like any other ordinary couple, they struggled to make ends meet and to do the right things for their children.

They were ordinary in yet another way—they had their squabbles. Much of their conversation concerned what was wrong in their marriage and who was to blame.

Until one day when a most extraordinary event took place.

“You know, Jo Ann, I’ve got a magic chest of drawers. Every time I open them, they’re full of socks and underwear,” Larry said. “I want to thank you for filling them all these years.”

Jo Ann stared at her husband over the top of her glasses. “What do you want, Larry?”

“Nothing. I just want you to know I appreciate those magic drawers.”

This wasn’t the first time Larry had done something odd, so Jo Ann pushed the incident out of her mind until a few days later.

“Jo Ann, thank you for recording so many correct check numbers in the ledger this month. You put down the right numbers 15 out of 16 times. That’s a record.”

Disbelieving what she had heard, Jo Ann looked up from her mending. “Larry, you’re always complaining about my recording the wrong check numbers. Why stop now?”

“No reason. I just wanted you to know I appreciate the effort you’re making.”

Jo Ann shook her head and went back to her mending. “What’s got into him?” she mumbled to herself.

Nevertheless, the next day when Jo Ann wrote a check at the grocery store, she glanced at her checkbook to confirm that she had put down the right check number. “Why do I suddenly care about those dumb check numbers?” she asked herself.

She tried to disregard the incident, but Larry’s strange behavior intensified.

“Jo Ann, that was a great dinner,” he said one evening. “I appreciate all your effort. Why, in the past 15 years I’ll bet you’ve fixed over 14,000 meals for me and the kids.”

Then “Gee, Jo Ann, the house looks spiffy. You’ve really worked hard to get it looking so good.” And even “Thanks, Jo Ann, for just being you. I really enjoy your company.”

Jo Ann was growing worried. “Where’s the sarcasm, the criticism?” she wondered.

Her fears that something peculiar was happening to her husband were confirmed by 16-year-old Shelly, who complained, “Dad’s gone bonkers, Mom. He just told me I looked nice. With all this makeup and these sloppy clothes, he still said it. That’s not Dad, Mom.

What’s wrong with him?”

Whatever was wrong, Larry didn’t get over it. Day in and day out he continued focusing on the positive.

Over the weeks, Jo Ann grew more accustomed to her mate’s unusual behavior and occasionally even gave him a grudging “Thank you.” She prided herself on taking it all in stride, until one day something so peculiar happened, she became completely discombobulated:

“I want you to take a break,” Larry said. “I am going to do the dishes. So please take your hands off that frying pan and leave the kitchen.”

(Long, long pause.) “Thank you, Larry. Thank you very much!”

Jo Ann’s step was now a little lighter, her self-confidence higher and once in a while she hummed. She didn’t seem to have as many blue moods anymore. “I rather like Larry’s new behavior,” she thought.

That would be the end of the story except one day another most extraordinary event took place. This time it was Jo Ann who spoke.

“Larry,” she said, “I want to thank you for going to work and providing for us all these years. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I appreciate it.”

Larry has never revealed the reason for his dramatic change of behavior no matter how hard Jo Ann has pushed for an answer, and so it will likely remain one of life’s mysteries. But it’s one I’m thankful to live with.

You see, I am Jo Ann.   Jo Ann Larsen, Deseret News

Both of these illustrate the importance of sharing with the loved ones in your life how much they mean to you.  You never know the difference you make in someone’s day when you take the time to tell them or show them how important they are to you.  If you are wondering the best way to show those special people in your life, I recommend reading The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Coleman.  To learn your love language you can check out his website and take a quick quiz here.

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Meditation and visualization are proven ways to train the mind to relax and create. Letting go is a process of releasing emotional attachments to things and old beliefs and then giving one a sense of freedom.

All aid greatly to relieve stress, overwhelm, and contribute to your peace.

Try these daily …

1.   MEDITATE 3 – 15 minutes daily in a upright comfortable position

• With eyes closed, focus on your breathing to settle thoughts.
• Notice any sensations within you without judgment; just practice being.
• Trust the process!

2.  VISUALIZE- 2-3 minutes daily. Eyes closed, then picture within your mind to

• Visualize all you want to bring forth; experiences, new passions, ways of being, etc.
• Visualizel kindness, truth, love, acceptance, and joy for you and others.
• Trust the process!

3.  LETTING GO

• Get rid of material things that no longer serve you; toss out or give away.
• Let go of those that de-energize you or limit time with them.
• Let go of being right
• Let go of judgments of others and yourself.

My wish for you this year is to consider an ongoing practice of these effective methods. They do work when applied.

Wishing you a fabulous New Year!   Trust the process!

Blessings, Donna Marie

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1. Five Important Ways to Deal with Stress in the New Year

FAMILY STRESS
The holiday season is also a time when many of us spend time with family members that we may only see once or twice a year.  Seeing people that may emotionally charge us is one of the biggest holiday stressors.  Before seeing those individuals that cause you stress, take time to do some deep meditative breathing.  Think about the situations that may arise and bring you stress, contemplate what you may do differently in this situation instead of your typical reaction to this stressful person.  While breathing think about what it is that you are thankful for.  By finding something to be grateful for it crowds out other feelings of resentment and annoyance.  Another option is to reduce time spent with certain family members if you find it too uncomfortable.  Give yourself permission to strongly consider this.

LESS IS MORE
When we over-do we spread ourselves too thin and we are left feeling frazzled.  It is easy during this time of year to fill up your schedule with every holiday party that you are invited to.  Commit to less events and the truly enjoy the people at the ones you attend.  Being with friends, family and co-workers at this time of year is what the season is all about anyways.

HOLIDAY SPENDING
With the marketing promotions out there it is hard to resist spending and buying.  There is no reason to finance your holidays for the next six months, which will inevitably cause more stress down the road.  Be reasonable with holiday spending.  You can also tell your children/family members that you are setting a limit on spending for each because that is the responsible thing to do. You can ask them what type of gift(s) they would like within your holiday budget. This also gives them choices.  Keep in mind that you are demonstrating financial responsibility and boundaries to others and avoiding later debt and stress.

GIVING TO THOSE IN NEED
Please remember the ones who are truly in need of holiday cheer this time of year; don’t forget to donate to local charities. If you feel moved to help feed the hungry in metro Detroit, Gleaners Food Bank, a wonderful organization allows for online donations.  http://www.gcfb.org   There are many hungry people that will not have the spread of holiday foods we may take for granted.

Above all, this holiday season to take time to be present to all of the wonderful people in your life; time passes by much too quickly.  Enjoy the time that you do have with those in your life that bring you joy.

Blessings to you and your families,

Donna Marie

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This is my top ten list; it is by no means the only ones that I recommend, just the ones I suggest most frequently.  They are not listed in any particular order, since I feel that not one of them ranks higher than another.  I have included a brief description about each book to give you a sense of the ideas, concepts, and practical tools these books offer.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: This small book is filled with four simple truths; “Be Impeccable with Your Word”, “Don’t Take Anything Personally”, “Don’t Make Assumptions”, and “Always Do Your Best”.  By committing to these four agreements in life, you will begin to experience a profound shift in how you relate to the world and how the world relates to you.

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle: This book is great for beginners on the spiritual path. It’s very simple and easy to understand.   His core message of “living in the now” helps one to find the path to enlightenment and freedom.

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers, Ph. D.: This book provides an insightful and engaging look at the destructive effects of fear in all aspects of our lives.  Anyone engaged in creating change will face their own fears. This book provides an understanding of why people feel fear and what they need to do to move beyond those feelings and become unstoppable.

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy, PhD, D.D. :I found this book to be very informative, creative and positively life changing. It is filled with excellent techniques and tools for using your subconscious mind to effect positive long lasting change in your life. If you combine this book with your own personal goals and some faith & believe you will have a true recipe for success.

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman: This book is based on self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation and our ability to love and be loved. Our chances of success in life depend to a certain degree how in-tune we are with each of those factors. Goleman explains how we can improve our relationships with others around us; family, friends, and co-workers.

The Spontaneous Healing of Belief by Gregg Braden: In The Spontaneous Healing of Belief Gregg Braden tackles the great questions of life: who are we, and what are we capable of creating? He draws the analogy of an all-encompassing computer program to explain how the universe works and what our part in its working may be. And he says that, like a computer programmer, people must understand the code that causes the computer to produce the results they choose. Without the correct codes, results are likely to be something other than the individual wants.

Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, M.D.: In this work, Hawkins effectively provides tools to discern truth in both secular and spiritual matters. He shows that integrity, combined with a deep understanding of Truth, gives one the power to achieve goals in the most meaningful and self-motivating way.  Whereas the use of force to achieve one’s goals results in hollow victories that harm others.

Simple Abundance (A Daybook of Comfort & Joy) by Sarah Ban Breathnach: In her book, Sara advocates nurturing our spirits, our relationships and creating serene spaces in our lives. She blends literature and a variety of religions without being preachy.  Over all, it is about tuning into ourselves and paying attention to our basic needs.

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill Napoleon: Hill spent over 20 years interviewing the most successful men of his time and then put the findings of his study in his book: Think & Grow Rich. Successful people think differently. Hill states that when the secret appears to you, whether it is in the first ten pages or on the 200th page, that is when your life will change.  Think & Grow Rich is a must read for all those who want success and are ready for it.

A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson: This book is packed with profound and practical spiritual truths. Marianne Williamson’s writing is filled with deep compassion and obviously has considerable first-hand experience of the principles she’s writing about.  Her message is that we are all perfect expressions of love, and that the energy of love and God is all there is. Anything else is an illusion.

            Know that at any given time everyone is within their own level of personal awareness in life. Books can be presented to us at various times. However, you may or may not want to read a particular book.  Books don’t always resonate with everyone. Read those you like and discard any messages that don’t ring true for you. Sometimes just parts of these books called out louder to me.  A particular book may not call to you either because it’s not needed within your growth phase or it may never be a book you ever care read.   Either is fine. These are some of my favorites.

Please feel free to share your comments. I would love to know your favorites.

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According to the American Institute of Stress, 40% of Americans report that their job is an extreme source of stress for them. Furthermore, 75% of workers believe that jobs in America are more stressful than they were one decade ago.

The most common sources of job stress are:

• Lack of control
• Increased responsibility
• Job satisfaction & performance
• Uncertainty about work roles
• Poor communication
• Lack of support
• Working conditions

Personal health is a concern strongly associated with stress, including heart issues, back pain, fatigue, and headache.

These are the most common signs of job stress:

• Headaches
• Trouble sleeping
• Problems concentrating
• Short temper
• Upset stomach
• Job dissatisfaction and low morale

You can reduce some job stress by noticing what things that you have control over and those you don’t. You may not have total control over the deadline however you do have control over how you manage your thoughts about it.  By focusing the mind on the present moment task you can avoid negative thoughts shifting into the future.

Here is a simple and easy method you can do often;

First, identifying your stressors is an important part of ridding the work place of stress. Each time that you feel yourself becoming stressed ask yourself if you have total control of the situation or person.  Most often we don’t.

Second, tell yourself that you can change how you think about it.  Easier said than done? True, but it is a process that takes practice.  To do this allow your body sit comfortably and relax. Closing your eyes breath in and out very deeply.  The key to relaxation is to refocus thinking.  So its best as you relax to focus on your breath going in and going out.  This can become a form of mediating. Notice any sensations that you experience as just an experience; not making it right or wrong.  Do this 5-7 times. Typically people try to clear the mind or focus on many different things.  This in itself is challenging.  That is why a simply focusing on your breathing can be more beneficial.  It is effective, powerful, and a proven method for de-stressing.

I know stress is a hot issue, and I would like to continue our conversation.  If you personally struggle with stress in your workplace, please leave a comment below.

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Although these may appear to be simple things, making sure that your speech is free of them can make giving your speech a calmer process.

The first thing to consider when writing your speech is to not have any inappropriate humor in the speech. There is a time for humor, but never at the expense of anyone else. Jokes related to anyone’s sex, religious preference, political stance or gender are off the table.

Make sure your speech does not have any subtle put downs or condescending language against competitors. Some people are not comfortable trying to use humor in their speech. If you are one of these people, do not feel pressure to be funny.

Your speech should be a reflection of your unique personality and a place to put your best foot forward. Do not feel the pressure to make anyone laugh. You can be respected as a good speaker without using humor.

Make sure you use short, simple sentences when writing your speech. Long sentences with complex terms usually lose an audience. Shorter sentences are more easily understood. Also practice your voice and body language. Articulation, the use of a clean and crisp speaking pattern, is very important to being clearly understood.

Practice over articulating your words to be heard, and even doing some vocal warm ups. These things can help you feel more confident. Practice saying your speech with energy and feeling. When you practice your speech with confidence you will deliver it with confidence. The more warmth and enthusiasm you are able to exude, the more your audience will respond positively to you and your message. Remember to take deep breaths and smile often. Practice saying your points with feeling and emotion. Underline important points so you can remember to emphasize these words or topics.

Lastly, double check which microphone form you will be using. Some speeches are given with a lapel mike so that you can move freely and talk with your hands, while other speeches utilize a hand held or podium microphone. Practice using a microphone beforehand so that this can be an additional stressor removed from your plate.

When you prepare your speech in advance, you can enter your event with the knowledge that you will deliver it with confidence. Soon, you too can be freed from the fear of public speaking after little practice and preparation.

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1. Do You Deal with Stress that Comes from the Fear of Public Speaking?
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Much of the fear comes from the unknown, and not knowing everyone in your audience can bring up some stress or fear. To help overcome this, practice giving your speech in front of friends, family or co-workers and getting a positive response. The more times you practice initially the easier it will be to give your speech when the real day comes.

Practice connecting to one individual at a time. Some people feel uncomfortable with giving eye contact directly to those in the audience, but the more you practice looking someone in the eye, the easier it becomes. Even if you are far away from them, the audience will feel that personal connection, and will continue to pay attention. Make sure you do not just look at the front row but speak to all of the rows of people, even those in the back.

Anyone who may be focused on too much can feel on the spot, but saying a few sentences to each person can make the whole audience part of the experience. Here are a few other things to consider when you are giving your speech.

Interruptions can happen during any speech. There could be crying babies, movement in and out of the room, or cell phones that may go off. Preparing for any interruptions that may occur can remove this stress. Do not stop your talk for any reason. By acting unphased by these possible distractions, your audience will remain focused on the speech as well.

Also, be aware of your body language. It’s easy when nervous to have a stiff body or awkward gestures. Practice saying your speech in front of a mirror so that you can see what gestures you normally do, and how you can make your body look even more relaxed the whole time you are delivering your speech.

When it comes to the day of the speech, remember to stick to the flow of your speech and it will all go smoothly. Do your best to stay in the moment at all times. Do not get lost in your thoughts or in any worries you might have. Focus on your points, and sticking to your script, and your speech will be a success.

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1. Do You Deal with Stress that Comes from the Fear of Public Speaking?
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