Deal with Stress During the Holidays

It is that time of year again; that whirlwind of gift-giving holidays, marketing blitzes, holiday parties and activities galore that begins right after Halloween, builds to Thanksgiving, and continues gaining momentum through the end of the year.  For many this is the most favorite time of the year, but for others it is filled with pressure and stress.  My strategy for dealing with stress during the holidays is simple, “do less and be more”.

FAMILY STRESS
The holiday season is also a time when many of us spend time with family members that we may only see once or twice a year.  Seeing people that may emotionally charge us is one of the biggest holiday stressors.  Before seeing those individuals that cause you stress, take time to do some deep meditative breathing.  Think about the situations that may arise and bring you stress, contemplate what you may do differently in this situation instead of your typical reaction to this stressful person.  While breathing think about what it is that you are thankful for.  By finding something to be grateful for it crowds out other feelings of resentment and annoyance.  Another option is to reduce time spent with certain family members if you find it too uncomfortable.  Give yourself permission to strongly consider this.

LESS IS MORE
When we over-do we spread ourselves too thin and we are left feeling frazzled.  It is easy during this time of year to fill up your schedule with every holiday party that you are invited to.  Commit to less events and the truly enjoy the people at the ones you attend.  Being with friends, family and co-workers at this time of year is what the season is all about anyways.

HOLIDAY SPENDING
With the marketing promotions out there it is hard to resist spending and buying.  There is no reason to finance your holidays for the next six months, which will inevitably cause more stress down the road.  Be reasonable with holiday spending.  You can also tell your children/family members that you are setting a limit on spending for each because that is the responsible thing to do. You can ask them what type of gift(s) they would like within your holiday budget. This also gives them choices.  Keep in mind that you are demonstrating financial responsibility and boundaries to others and avoiding later debt and stress.

GIVING TO THOSE IN NEED
Please remember the ones who are truly in need of holiday cheer this time of year; don’t forget to donate to local charities. If you feel moved to help feed the hungry in metro Detroit, Gleaners Food Bank, a wonderful organization allows for online donations.  http://www.gcfb.org   There are many hungry people that will not have the spread of holiday foods we may take for granted.

Above all, this holiday season to take time to be present to all of the wonderful people in your life; time passes by much too quickly.  Enjoy the time that you do have with those in your life that bring you joy.

Blessings to you and your families,

Donna Marie

Top Reads for Personal & Professional Development

I get asked frequently, “What is a good book to read for personal and professional development?”  And although there are many amazing books available in the marketplace, but I have found the following books to stand the test of time.  Each book is in my own personal collection and I have recommended them over and over to clients and friends.  These books have made a huge impact on my own self-transformation, enhanced my business, and helped my understanding of others.

This is my top ten list; it is by no means the only ones that I recommend, just the ones I suggest most frequently.  They are not listed in any particular order, since I feel that not one of them ranks higher than another.  I have included a brief description about each book to give you a sense of the ideas, concepts, and practical tools these books offer.

 

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: This small book is filled with four simple truths; “Be Impeccable with Your Word”, “Don’t Take Anything Personally”, “Don’t Make Assumptions”, and “Always Do Your Best”.  By committing to these four agreements in life, you will begin to experience a profound shift in how you relate to the world and how the world relates to you.

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle: This book is great for beginners on the spiritual path. It’s very simple and easy to understand.   His core message of “living in the now” helps one to find the path to enlightenment and freedom.

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers, Ph. D.: This book provides an insightful and engaging look at the destructive effects of fear in all aspects of our lives.  Anyone engaged in creating change will face their own fears. This book provides an understanding of why people feel fear and what they need to do to move beyond those feelings and become unstoppable.

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy, PhD, D.D. :I found this book to be very informative, creative and positively life changing. It is filled with excellent techniques and tools for using your subconscious mind to effect positive long lasting change in your life. If you combine this book with your own personal goals and some faith & believe you will have a true recipe for success.

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman: This book is based on self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation and our ability to love and be loved. Our chances of success in life depend to a certain degree how in-tune we are with each of those factors. Goleman explains how we can improve our relationships with others around us; family, friends, and co-workers.

The Spontaneous Healing of Belief by Gregg Braden: In The Spontaneous Healing of Belief Gregg Braden tackles the great questions of life: who are we, and what are we capable of creating? He draws the analogy of an all-encompassing computer program to explain how the universe works and what our part in its working may be. And he says that, like a computer programmer, people must understand the code that causes the computer to produce the results they choose. Without the correct codes, results are likely to be something other than the individual wants.

Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, M.D.: In this work, Hawkins effectively provides tools to discern truth in both secular and spiritual matters. He shows that integrity, combined with a deep understanding of Truth, gives one the power to achieve goals in the most meaningful and self-motivating way.  Whereas the use of force to achieve one’s goals results in hollow victories that harm others.

Simple Abundance (A Daybook of Comfort & Joy) by Sarah Ban Breathnach: In her book, Sara advocates nurturing our spirits, our relationships and creating serene spaces in our lives. She blends literature and a variety of religions without being preachy.  Over all, it is about tuning into ourselves and paying attention to our basic needs.

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill Napoleon: Hill spent over 20 years interviewing the most successful men of his time and then put the findings of his study in his book: Think & Grow Rich. Successful people think differently. Hill states that when the secret appears to you, whether it is in the first ten pages or on the 200th page, that is when your life will change.  Think & Grow Rich is a must read for all those who want success and are ready for it.

A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson: This book is packed with profound and practical spiritual truths. Marianne Williamson’s writing is filled with deep compassion and obviously has considerable first-hand experience of the principles she’s writing about.  Her message is that we are all perfect expressions of love, and that the energy of love and God is all there is. Anything else is an illusion.

 

            Know that at any given time everyone is within their own level of personal awareness in life. Books can be presented to us at various times. However, you may or may not want to read a particular book.  Books don’t always resonate with everyone. Read those you like and discard any messages that don’t ring true for you. Sometimes just parts of these books called out louder to me.  A particular book may not call to you either because it’s not needed within your growth phase or it may never be a book you ever care read.   Either is fine. These are some of my favorites.

Please feel free to share your comments. I would love to know your favorites.

 

 

 

 

 

Addressing Stress in the Work Environment

In March of 2010 we published an article entitled “How to Deal with Stress at Work and Thrive,” which discussed some techniques that would help to reduce stress level in the work place. Now, we would like to revisit that topic with additional information and ideas.

According to the American Institute of Stress, 40% of Americans report that their job is an extreme source of stress for them. Furthermore, 75% of workers believe that jobs in America are more stressful than they were one decade ago.

The most common sources of job stress are:

  • Lack of control
  • Increased responsibility
  • Job satisfaction & performance
  • Uncertainty about work roles
  • Poor communication
  • Lack of support
  • Working conditions

Personal health is a concern strongly associated with stress, including heart issues, back pain, fatigue, and headache.

These are the most common signs of job stress:

  • Headaches
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Problems concentrating
  • Short temper
  • Upset stomach
  • Job dissatisfaction and low morale

You can reduce some job stress by noticing what things that you have control over and those you don’t. You may not have total control over the deadline however you do have control over how you manage your thoughts about it.  By focusing the mind on the present moment task you can avoid negative thoughts shifting into the future.

Here is a simple and easy method you can do often;

First, identifying your stressors is an important part of ridding the work place of stress. Each time that you feel yourself becoming stressed ask yourself if you have total control of the situation or person.  Most often we don’t.

Second, tell yourself that you can change how you think about it.  Easier said than done? True, but it is a process that takes practice.  To do this allow your body sit comfortably and relax. Closing your eyes breath in and out very deeply.  The key to relaxation is to refocus thinking.  So its best as you relax to focus on your breath going in and going out.  This can become a form of mediating. Notice any sensations that you experience as just an experience; not making it right or wrong.  Do this 5-7 times. Typically people try to clear the mind or focus on many different things.  This in itself is challenging.  That is why a simply focusing on your breathing can be more beneficial.  It is effective, powerful, and a proven method for de-stressing.

I know stress is a hot issue, and I would like to continue our conversation.  If you personally struggle with stress in your workplace, please leave a comment below.

 

Navigate Around These Pitfalls to Deal with Your Fear of Public Speaking

When it comes time for you to give a big speech, you might find yourself a bit nervous. Not everyone has a fear of public speaking, but for those that do, it can be frustrating. Preparing in advance, and writing a speech that you feel confident delivering, can help you cure your fear of public speaking. There are a few things that should be avoided when you write your speech.

Although these may appear to be simple things, making sure that your speech is free of them can make giving your speech a calmer process.

The first thing to consider when writing your speech is to not have any inappropriate humor in the speech. There is a time for humor, but never at the expense of anyone else. Jokes related to anyone’s sex, religious preference, political stance or gender are off the table.

Make sure your speech does not have any subtle put downs or condescending language against competitors. Some people are not comfortable trying to use humor in their speech. If you are one of these people, do not feel pressure to be funny.

Your speech should be a reflection of your unique personality and a place to put your best foot forward. Do not feel the pressure to make anyone laugh. You can be respected as a good speaker without using humor.

Make sure you use short, simple sentences when writing your speech. Long sentences with complex terms usually lose an audience. Shorter sentences are more easily understood. Also practice your voice and body language. Articulation, the use of a clean and crisp speaking pattern, is very important to being clearly understood.

Practice over articulating your words to be heard, and even doing some vocal warm ups. These things can help you feel more confident. Practice saying your speech with energy and feeling. When you practice your speech with confidence you will deliver it with confidence. The more warmth and enthusiasm you are able to exude, the more your audience will respond positively to you and your message. Remember to take deep breaths and smile often. Practice saying your points with feeling and emotion. Underline important points so you can remember to emphasize these words or topics.

Lastly, double check which microphone form you will be using. Some speeches are given with a lapel mike so that you can move freely and talk with your hands, while other speeches utilize a hand held or podium microphone. Practice using a microphone beforehand so that this can be an additional stressor removed from your plate.

When you prepare your speech in advance, you can enter your event with the knowledge that you will deliver it with confidence. Soon, you too can be freed from the fear of public speaking after little practice and preparation.

Stay Connected to Reduce Your Fear of Public Speaking

puzzleAn important part of public speaking is interacting with your audience. Many people focus only on the writing of the speech, but fail to consider the delivery. One very important part of delivering your speech is your one on one connection with your audience. By practicing connecting to audience members you can help remove your fear of public speaking.

Much of the fear comes from the unknown, and not knowing everyone in your audience can bring up some stress or fear. To help overcome this, practice giving your speech in front of friends, family or co-workers and getting a positive response. The more times you practice initially the easier it will be to give your speech when the real day comes.

Practice connecting to one individual at a time. Some people feel uncomfortable with giving eye contact directly to those in the audience, but the more you practice looking someone in the eye, the easier it becomes. Even if you are far away from them, the audience will feel that personal connection, and will continue to pay attention. Make sure you do not just look at the front row but speak to all of the rows of people, even those in the back.

Anyone who may be focused on too much can feel on the spot, but saying a few sentences to each person can make the whole audience part of the experience. Here are a few other things to consider when you are giving your speech.

Interruptions can happen during any speech. There could be crying babies, movement in and out of the room, or cell phones that may go off. Preparing for any interruptions that may occur can remove this stress. Do not stop your talk for any reason. By acting unphased by these possible distractions, your audience will remain focused on the speech as well.

Also, be aware of your body language. It’s easy when nervous to have a stiff body or awkward gestures. Practice saying your speech in front of a mirror so that you can see what gestures you normally do, and how you can make your body look even more relaxed the whole time you are delivering your speech.

When it comes to the day of the speech, remember to stick to the flow of your speech and it will all go smoothly. Do your best to stay in the moment at all times. Do not get lost in your thoughts or in any worries you might have. Focus on your points, and sticking to your script, and your speech will be a success.

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